Dear Rose Park,
Be honest. When you’re in a conversation, are you more interested in dialogue or debate? Would you rather listen in order to learn and grow or listen in order to embarrass and win an argument?
Here’s another way to ask the same question: when you’re in a conversation, are you actively listening to what the other person is saying or are you simply waiting for them to stop talking so that you can speak your mind and tell them how they are wrong, and you are right. Don’t get me wrong, debate has its’ place but it’s a very small place and to be quite honest I’m not entirely convinced the world needs anymore debate.
Perhaps what we need most is honest and curious dialogue. We need opportunities to wonder and the courage to embrace those opportunities with an open-mind and a sense of humility and curiosity. The book of James, commonly referred to as a guidebook for following the path of faith in Christ, is crystal clear in its’ instruction: My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19).
Imagine the progress that could be made, if our politicians were a little slower to speak and a little quicker to engage in dialogue, not debate. Imagine the peace that could be established, if our community leaders practiced dialogue, not debate. Imagine the love that could be shared, if parents modeled dialogue and not debate to their children. Imagine the hope that could be instilled in our lives, if the Church was a place where dialogue was graciously fostered in order to listen first, and then speak with grace and truth.
This is all to say, I’d encourage you to consider adopting a posture of humility and curiosity in order to practice dialogue and not debate. Instead of trying to prove the other person is wrong by stating your case and poking holes in theirs, would you consider asking questions in order to empathize, learn, and wonder?
I am deeply hopeful for the church, but I am deeply convicted that in order for the church to not only survive but also thrive it will take humble leaders who are far more willing to dialogue than they are willing to debate.
Grace & Peace,
Pastor Mark
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash